Before coming to Congregation, I had spent my life trying to hide my Jewish identity. When I was a child, I did it because of the anti-Semitic manifestations and other aggression I experienced at school, but after that, I continued to hide who I was out of fear, of new undeserved insults.
Not surprisingly, when I turned to God in the Bible during this time, I could not see the Jewish roots, Jewishness or the God of Israel.
I was already a believer a few years later when I joined Kiev Jewish Messianic Congregation. It was here that God began to “unfreeze” me. My deep rooted fears began to leave me step by step and, I began to accept myself as a Jew. It was a long process as my heart was full of fear and confusion. Honestly, it was my spiritual family who ultimately helped me to understand and truly accept myself as a Jew. Finally, I felt good and comfortable in life. I realized that the very thing I was made to feel ashamed of earlier in my life was indeed a privilege … even a responsibility. I realized it was possible to be one of His people without feeling shame. I found out it was possible to be a Jewish believer like others, accepted by our Father. Not only that, but perhaps the most interesting thing I realized that all of those fears and the inner bondage I carried had severely limited my fellowship with God. As I became free from the inside, the things God had designed for me as a Jewish woman began to unfold in my life.
I keep feeling the fullness of joy and fellowship with my Lord for many years. This is very cool and I’m really happy!